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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23055688">A Dead Light</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toaverse/pseuds/Toaverse'>Toaverse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Onward (2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Baby Death, Character Death, Child Death, Death, Gen, Heavy Angst, Miscarriage, Stillbirth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:41:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>836</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23055688</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toaverse/pseuds/Toaverse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The birth of his little brother was something Barley looked forward to ever since he first heard the words “You’re going to be a big brother!”.</p><p>When his dad passed away, it became a light at the end of the tunnel.</p><p>But what Barley didn’t know, was that Ian would come into the world with his angle wings already spread...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Dead Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It’s re-write time!</p><p>I saw Onward today, and BOY was it amazing yet heartbreaking at the same time😢</p><p>So I decided to re-write my earlier Onward fic called Miscarried, but then in Barley’s perspective.</p><p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sitting and waiting in the waiting room in the hospital isn’t fun, especially when you’re too excited to meet your new baby sibling.</p><p>Barley Lightfoot is exactly in that situation right now.</p><p>The 4 year old phased around the room, unable to sit still. Sitting still and waiting for awhile is also something he didn’t really like, but waiting was something he’s forced to do now.</p><p>It already had been hours after Laurel was brought into the delivery room. Barley didn’t know why his mother cried loudly when they where in the previous room for a check up, or in which room his mother is right now, but the 4 year old knew that Ian is on his way. The satyr nurse who looked after the elf boy told him that fact.</p><p>And for Barley, that’s the only reason why the hours of waiting are worth it. </p><p>Heck, even those long 8 months are worth it.</p><p>The 4 year old elf remembered it like yesterday when his mother told him he’d be a big brother soon. His excitement immediately shot through the roof after that news. And it couldn’t even get higher when he found out he’s getting a brother. Barley would be okey with having a little sister, but he secretly always wanted a brother.</p><p>But at that time, his dad was still alive...</p><p>Barley’s thoughts unwillingly shifted to his dad, and him laying in that hospital bed with all those tubes. The 4 year old quikly pushes those thoughts away. But it made him remember the promise that he made to himself; that he’ll never be scared again, and thinking about his baby brother makes Barley wanna fulfill his promise even more. But he decides to make another promise to himself...</p><p>‘I promise, that I will be a example for Ian to follow.’ He said in his mind, just like he had done 2 months ago.</p><p>Barley didn’t know how much time past after he made his second promise, only that he was deep in thought about the future with his new brother within that time. At some point, a elf doctor came in the waiting room to lead the boy to his mother. But Barley saw that the doctor looked sad.</p><p>The elf doctor kneeled down to the 6 year old’s level. “Your little brother is here.” He said, trying to hide his heartbreak with a smile.</p><p>Barley’s smiling face glow out of excitement, asking without words if the doctor can take him where his brother is right now. The doctor agreed with a (fake) smile, stood back up to his feet, and took the boy’s hand to take him to his mother. All while trying to hide the tears of sadness and heartbreak that desperately want to get out.</p><p>Barley’s first thought when first seeing his mother again was Ian. He ran to the bed his mother is sitting in, full with adrenaline and excitement.</p><p>“Is he here? Is he here?” The 4 year old could only ask, but he quikly noticed that his mom has a sad look as well. The only response he got from her was being lifted up on the bed so that he could take a closer look at the new addition to the family. And Barley couldn’t stop looking at the newborn with a smile on his face.</p><p>“Can I hold him?” He asked after staring out of wonder at his new brother, not looking away as he did. Laurel answered it by placing Ian carefully into his big brother’s arms.</p><p>“Hey, Ian.” The 4 year old started, trying to introduce himself. “I’m Barley, your big brother!” Barley didn’t care that he didn’t get an answer, holding and seeing his new baby brother for the very first time is already enough for the young boy.</p><p>But after around 3 minutes, something began to feel...off. Barley didn’t feel his brother move. He couldn’t even feel him sleeping. The baby elf felt...limp...</p><p>“Mommy, when is Ian going to wake up?” The young elf boy asked, looking at his mother for the second time. She still looked so sad, as if something terrible had happend. Tears where even streaming down her cheeks.</p><p>Barley knew that look as no other. She had the exact same look when his dad was connected to those tubes, and slowly slipped away. And that’s when the boy broke his first promise...</p><p>Thoughts of worry clouded his mind. ‘No! Not again!’ He said in his mind, quikly looking back at his brother who still felt limp. ‘Not again...’</p><p>“Barley...” Laurel started, trying not to break down. “H-he’s with dad now...” these words where absolutely tortures to say for her, feeling her heart shatter all over again. “Ian is with dad now...”</p><p>Those words broke his heart as well. Ian, the light in Barley’s 2 month dark tunnel, had disappeared. Just like their dad...</p><p>He held his little brother tightly in his arms, making sure that his journey too their dad wouldn’t be alone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For the ones who don’t know; stress in a pregnancy can in fact lead to miscarriages or stillbirths.</p><p>And since Wilden passed away months before Ian was born...</p></blockquote></div></div>
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